"Oh Christ!" Doris sighed. "I'm sure you'd like some uplifting remarks of some kind, wouldn't you?" Captain Jarvon, ever oblivious, merely smiled blandly. "Ms. Lessing," he said,

scientists were discovering that their opinions didn't matter, their usually impressive brains feeling like pancake batter in an empty backyard. The Button, the Hardest Button, was

missed calls on her phone. Not good, Sam thought, but also not her biggest problem right now. No, the big problem, Sam realised as she dragged herself out of bed, was

took a turn for the worse when, following a failed pop career, it agreed to a tell-all interview with Louis Theroux. A low point, yes—but also a turning point, a moment of clarity.

not my wallet, but I was having a bad day. "Yes!" I lied, smiling at the kind stranger, taking the wallet. Another mistake. The world turned pink. "BE WHO YOU WANNA BE, B-A-R-B-I-E

herever, whenever! We were meant to be together!" A booming voice rattled the walls. Aunt Myrtle closed her eyes, a single tear escaping. "You've summoned her," she whispered.

to me, and now to each other too. As other so-called geniuses tried to help, inevitably adding themselves to this cursed conga-line of stuckness, I had a realisation:

what." "...huh? "I said I'll tell you what. And I did!" "Look, this isn't the time for your weird jokes. Look at the state of this place, look at this mess!'

The answer "Yes" was on my lips automatically but I was still trying to know what the answer really was. Did I know how to love myself? How do I answer that? Warts and all.

No one descends from Edison except for ME. I miss my assistant, but he was too prideful due to his ancestor Thomas. I had to fire him. I have been working towards this patent for d

ow all of their sponges and assorted cleaning products away. They were both clean, and they were determined to keep it that way. Which is why they don't need cleaning supplies anym

Andrew Leung instinctively parkoured up to the balcony from which the cans of spam had been raining, ready to confront and advise a tourist or an aunt or uncle gone mad; however,

Yeah. Oh yes. It almost seemed as if everything was significant and nothing was significant at the same time. There was an unnameable quality to that moment. My significant other

GMAX asked small-business owner Hrengor the Beholder about this new revelation. "It's quite a surprise. If dark matter never existed then why do we have transit corridors and nodes

"Sorry about that, sir. I was just practicing and you seemed to sneak through out of nowhere. As for the object of your pursuit: I happen to know her, and you are unlikely to find

Mrs. Humphries nearly broke her cue stick against the blackboard. "Are you summer students even ready to join this game?" (Secretly she wondered if she had misjudged

Given that they all knew they were under surveillance, Ariela gamely confided: "One time -- and I hope Clovis will forgive me -- one time he confided that he loved the smell of old

a fluffy menace to social order in Hong Kong. Labubu is wise and flirtatious in public, but in private speaks ancient Cantonese. Labubu likes to have tea with the police, just to

A plasticoid nephew from some future and a lineage I would not have anticipated somehow rallied the styrofoam beans in my bean bag chair to gently get me back on my feet. I was

When the shutter came down I decided not to put a quarter back in. Who could have known that the "presenters" of Mankato MN had become so depraved? I exited into the stark light of